"You are returning to India? You must be crazy!! Out of your mind!!! Simply barmy!!" This is the general reaction when the pilgrim looks homeward. Yet many do! Are they crazy, are they very rich - or do they know something that we don't. The reasons for returning are as many as the people who return. What is it that makes the native return? Is it because suddenly pau-bhaji has greater appeal than potato pancakes, or paan has greater appeal than polo-mints? That the comforting camaraderie of one's tribe holds greater appeal than the cautious cavorting of alien manners? Or is it simply that far away from the fiercely racing masses of the West, one desires time to gaze vacantly out of the homely window till the proverbial cows come home - or friends knock at the door?
There certainly are a lot of reasons. In the words of a colleague who made his choice, "Simply yaar -- I walk the streets and I feel I own the country. Nobody can tell me what to do - I'm home." Then there are yet others. A scientist friend in India, aghast at my desire to return, wrote to me in the U.S., predicting that on my return I'd be doomed to "stand on the balcony of my flat to watch the ruin and desolation of my career" all around me. I was working as a computer scientist with the Animation Systems Group at IBM's Thomas J. Watson Research Laboratory in New York, USA. But madness prevailed!
There were other friends though, who, deeply dissatisfied with their lot abroad, were more encouraging and regarded me as One that Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest. These were people, who would have returned, had it not been for commitments such as family that couldn't be transplanted to the alien clime of India. Or who had simply developed specialist skills that didn't have a market in India. There was a colleague from IIT (Kanpur) who did attempt to return, but couldn't stomach the professional environment in India and so returned to the US. His communion with home expressed itself in his weekly visits to the Hindu temple in Jackson Hts. (NY) where his daughter learnt bharatanatyam. They all missed home. Theirs was often the poetic view, sometimes forgivably idealistic, that recognised the importance of the non-material -- the pull of relationships, the feeling of security, of being "home."
But what really pulls us back is the gestalt of India - that is, the entire feeling of being "home". Dr. Ramesh Sinha, an astronomer friend at TIFR who returned after 20 years in the US, put it succinctly. "A man can choose to be successful wherever he pleases - but it's difficult to create a feeling of belonging wherever he chooses".
When we are away, we miss "home" and express this in strange ways. For instance, we take pleasure in watching trashy Hindi films on video that we would never have seen at home. In '85, while doing my post-graduate studies in England, after a trip to India, it became a routine to spend Friday evenings with a couple of Indian films.
We often mixed with strangers just because they happened to be Indian. We got sentimental about Indian culture and gave an inordinate importance to artists and cultural emissaries. The attendance of Indian cultural programmes was almost an affirmation of faith. My large collection of music comprised mainly old Indian film songs and varied classical music. Western classical music was fascinating. Jazz was close to the spirit of our music. Pop, Rock, Soul and Blues were alien but entertaining, and sometimes satisfying. But Indian music got to the deeper recesses that appeared impervious to other sounds. Strangely, ever since my return, my musical taste has experienced a change. No more is it compulsory to see Indian films or to overdose on Indian music. The mind is culturally more adventurous and open to foreign experiences. One feels strangely closer, more accepting and aware of the commonality of foreign culture and experience.
If one chooses to remain abroad, it is important we embrace the host values and treat "abroad" as "home." The only healthy response is to be "in Rome as the Romans do," or to just return home. Living with values that one doesn't believe in, leads to an unfortunate neurosis. But we often wish to have our cake and eat it too - with the result that this fence-sitting causes us much grief. A Pakistani acquaintance in New York, no less than an engineer, kept his eleven year old daughter interned at home for her summer vacations to prevent her being "corrupted" by the neighbourhood children in their picturesque and affluent suburban environs. This is the type of irrational behaviour that has led to untold repression, suffering, suicides, wife-battering and all manner of behavioural disorders wherever our people have settled abroad.
Most people felt that returning earlier was better that later. It's all too easy to fall into the trap of "making enough money," where, unless there is a strong discipline, and an equally strong spouse, any plan to return is doomed to failure. Friends presented me with a variety of theories. A colleague in the U.S. said it will only work if one decides to stay for at least five years - come what may! "Otherwise, at the first few obstacles that you hit, you'll be back like a shot!"
When I came back, I met other people who had returned, like a friend, who came back in '74 and who now runs a successful hi-tech company in Bangalore doing hardware design for foreign clients and employing highly trained staff including B.Techs, M.Techs, and several people with doctorates. His advice was that the only way to stay in India is to decide that you are going to do so. "Otherwise, if not now, maybe 5 or 10 years down the line, you'll hit some problems which might take you away." It's like marriage - open the space for doubt, and problems arise! For those who desire, India has such a variety of feelings and emotions, that we can feel as disgusted or as elevated about this country as we wish - we are limited only by our imagination.
Life here is in many ways tougher than abroad. True, the roads are poor. One has to use almost ministerial influence or large amounts of money to get a phone. Salaries are wretchedly low. Corruption is rife and every governmental procedure appears to be a strategem to relieve the tired taxpayer of his hard-earned money. In many organisations, governmental and private, mediocrity is rife and creativity, initiative and the making of mistakes that often go with them are punished, if not discouraged. These are all features of a mode that we've got stuck into. It needs a little bit of positive thinking to recognise that in every want lies the seed of an opportunity, and in every failure, the seed of a success. The same software house we mentioned earlier, gives its employees, within three months of joining, a PC with a modem, that they can take home. After three years the machine belongs to them. How many traditional Indian companies would even think of such an incentive for its staff? This is precisely the kind of bold and creative thinking that I feel is going to be the key to our success in future.
There is much to return for. The new liberalisation process has cast the die for a game which is going to make India an even more exciting place to be. If we are to compete with markets abroad, we have to subscribe to a universal notion of quality. And quality can never be a con job. It is only achievable by good systems, which demand capable people of integrity in responsible positions. Perhaps this truth will create a much bigger change in the national psyche, and in our situation than that anticipated by us today.
We have extremes of everything: wealth & poverty; greed & spirituality; ugliness & beauty; metropolitan nightmares & virgin forests; aeroplanes & hand-carts. For every horror story, there are innumerable ennobling stories. This is what makes India exciting. It resembles the rich diversity of a deep and mysterious Amazonian rain forest both in its external life and in its inward mythological life. People who make a success of themselves honestly in this environment can make it anywhere in the world. Judged against this vision, returning to India is an act of selfishness, an indulgence, a will to adventure and a wish to enjoy the good life.
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